A week or two ago, I was given the opportunity to take a “How Do You Fascinate?” test, as part of an upcoming conference I’m attending. The idea, through apparent years of scientific analysis, is not to identify how you see the world, but how the world sees you. I answered a series of questions, primarily relevant to my professional life, and waited as my results were tallied, analyzed, and presented.

The Victor

My archetype: the Victor. Hey, wow. Okay. Awesome. I’m victorious (and, fine, maybe I had Hunger Games running through my head at that exact moment). I am results-oriented, respected, and competitive. If only I can live up to them all throughout my career! The competitive threw me, however briefly. I’m aware I’m pretty results-oriented, and it’s nice to see/know I’m generally respected. But competitive? Ask me three years ago and I would have said you’re nuts. But, being in the professional world, and in the kind of industry I am (very, very competitive), I guess I’ve become that. I always used to associate competitive with vicious. And I don’t think of myself as a vicious person: I get things done, I strive to be better, but I don’t think I’m mean about it. Maybe they aren’t, in fact, the same thing. We live in a competitive world. Though my workplace is, I believe, very equal, in general I’m going to have to try harder as a woman to prove myself. Stereotypes and sexism, however subtle or overt, still exist. And this will be throughout my entire professional life.

So, now that I’m a Victor, what are my “triggers?”

Primarily, I am driven by prestige. After that, power drives me. Can I just tell you how odd that feels? That this is supposed to sum up…me? I want to be the best and be recognized for it, and I want to leverage power to get things done. This is not how I would typically describe myself.

TriggersIn fact I’d go so far as to say it’s never how I’d imagine describing myself. When I look at it more critically, though, I can see it. I’m 24 and I know I can go places. I’ve known that for a long time, and I believe I’m proving it, or at least trying. I’m always climbing, always learning more. I’m pretty young to be able to do all that I can – and I truly don’t mean this to brag, I’m just saying: I work my butt off and it shows. I’m now a Senior Writing Associate at my company, I’ve been working towards additional certifications and trainings, I am recognized for doing good work. Professionally speaking, I am like this (or will be. Hopefully). It just seems to counter what I feel I am “in real life.”

Dormant Trigger: Passion

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What actually stunned me was that passion was my dormant trigger. I am (at least, I like to think so) a passionate person. However much that intersects with emotions, I’m very aware of my emotions. But…I guess I’ve learned to keep them in check when they aren’t functional. That sounds weird, but especially at work, I try to leave my emotions at the door. And I’ve been pretty successful at it. To be honest, I wouldn’t last long in my company, or in my industry, if I let emotions rule. But I’m still in both, over two years later. I wouldn’t have survived the internship that got me this job, not in the least. It was tough. We’d get in at 8am (count yourself gone if you dared come in 2 minutes late more than once), bend our minds together, work like crazy, and maybe leave by 9pm, more commonly 10pm. One night we were there until 11:30, because the Metro would stop running at midnight and we needed to get home. Admittedly, there are still days like this. But there wasn’t any time to get worked up about it. The standard was incredibly high, and we got slammed on reviews. If you think the red ink on your college paper was bad, imagine getting rainbow-colored documents back with comments so long Word couldn’t show all the contents of each. But I digress. Suffice to say, however shocking getting the dormant trigger of passion was at first, professionally, I get it. And I suppose that “dormant” means it’s lying in wait for when I need it. So I guess I’m capable of passion? According to their website, “People with primary PASSION trigger can rapidly make emotional connections with customers, co-workers, and managers.” They are expressive, intuitive, impulsive, social, and transparent. The thing is, I’m pretty transparent. I’m not sure if I ever was any good at it (read: high school) and got continuously worse, or if I was never very good at it to begin with. I’ve certainly learned to present myself better, and speak better. But man if my boss(es) can’t read me like an open book.

Next up, how these triggers make me great or not so great.

Great:Advantages

Cool…

Not so great:Weaknesses

Again with the lacking emotion and connection thing. I’m not sure, other than the above, what this is a product of. But I’ve got to keep it in check. What the heck happened? Am I like this outside of work, too? And how can I go back? It’s unnerving.

On the plus side, I’m not terribly extreme. This compares me to “total intensity possible” from the test.

Intensity and Percentages

But passion is still the lowest. I have/am more trust, mystique, rebellion, and alarm than I do passion. Actually, I have a good chunk of rebellion and alarm.

Rebellion: innovative, independent, entrepreneurial, edgy, unpredictable.

Alarm: perfectionistic, reliable, routine-oriented, careful, rational

Mystique: understated, complex, rational, reserved, deliberate

So, interesting. Me, professionally, in a nutshell is results-oriented, respected, and competitive, with an eye towards power and prestige. This is how I fascinate. Am I fascinating? 😉

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